Come in misery where you can seem as old as your omens.

It's the #FirstWorldProblems that are really getting to me these days: hotel bookings and restaurant reservations and HOLY SHIT KATE SPADE STOPPED MAKING MY PERFUME. It's a wonder I can get out of bed in the morning. /sarcasm The IRS decided that I didn't actually buy a house in twenty-whatever, to which I say: I WISH. Then there wouldn't still be a hole in my living room ceiling. And I'd probably have a working microwave. And the upstairs carpet wouldn't need replacing. OMG I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD AND A WARM PLACE TO SLEEP. Life is so hard.

Tee minus not very many days until I'm off to the North Pole, and my oh my there are a great many things to get done before my flight. Because I am old a great many of these great many things are work related and are therefore NOT DISCUSSABLE, but they are cussable, so that's something. What I really need to do is clear up some room on the ol' (well, brand new, actually) DVR, but between work and hockey games and family visits I'm not quite sure when that is supposed to happen. I suppose I could give up some sleep for the cause, but because I am old I need a great deal more sleep than I used to apparently. I've found myself daily contemplating (though not taking) naps, which is bizarre as I never nap, have never napped, even as a wee tiny baby. Perhaps I'm finally becoming a fully realized human being and not just that tiny figment of your imagination.

I bought a new suitcase, a candy apple red Samsonite spinner, a real beaut if I do say so myself. I've ordered a set of universal plug adapters, a book on crow brains, and a tiny bottle of low-dose aspirin. I made an appointment to get my hairs cut. And now I am in the midst of tracking down an unnamed personage known only as THE LUNCHLADY, as Herculean a feat as ever I've tackled. But I am undaunted, I WILL NOT BE DAUNTED, and you can go ahead and use that for your 2014 motto if you like.

2014, man. January 31 ushers in my year, the year of the Horse. A woman called Susan Levitt says:

The Wood Horse year is a time of fast victories, unexpected adventure, and surprising romance. It is an excellent year for travel, and the more far away and off the beaten path the better. Energy is high and production is rewarded. Decisive action, not procrastination, brings victory.

I do not know who this Susan Levitt is, but I like her style. DECISIVE ACTION is the new CONSTANT VIGILANCE. We can all be Time Lords Victorious. Etcetera. Today is said to be the saddest day of the year, and tomorrow we've a POLAR VORTEX a-comin'.

I am neither sad nor cold.

So that's something.