27.7.08

Atrabilious.

Elisabeth asks, Describe yourself in 3 words?

I may be the only person on the planet who forgets how much she likes her friends, a curious gap in memory for which there is no discernible explanation save for, I don't know, a cold, black heart maybe. Maybe an overwhelming loneliness. Maybe it's all the booze. Nevertheless, my first impulse these days is towards sequestration, holing myself up in the apartment with a book and a bottle of whiskey and the precious silence.

Yesterday we had lunch with an old law school friend in town for the day, his wife, dog, and brand-new baby in tow. It was a lunch long delayed and preceded by copious amounts of eye-rolling and heavy sighing, but of a sudden the hours flew by and I found myself sunburned and wishing they hadn't moved so very far away. It was an unexpectedly pleasant afternoon, alternatively scratching the fuzzy head resting in my lap and cooing at the tiny person snuggled in the crook of my arm, but why it was unexpected I have no discernible explanation for; we're friends for a reason, after all.

I guess it's because I feel so different that it's hard for me to see that I'm really not, the only real difference being a disinclination to talk and maybe an extra few pounds. My optimism remains in place though tempered by a broken heart, my dreams increasingly haunted by ghosts of lovers past and best left forgotten. We say the same things at the same time, a difference only in pitch, and so last night I tried to convince him that we no longer need to speak. He smirked and saw through me, and that ended that conversation.

*****
Questions were chosen from here.

10 comments:

  1. Tiny, sure. Cold, probably not (Lukewarm, maybe? Tepid?). Forgotten, however is highly doubtful. Or perhaps you've been forgotten by all the right people, i.e. those unworthy of being graced by your memory. It's the quality of those who do the remembering that matters more that the quantity.

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  2. I haven't forgotten you! Though that isn't exactly an advantage.

    You held a baby? You didn't... kick it or anything?

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  3. well, my first choices were first, precious, and pleasant, but i thought that might be out of character for this blogspot.

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  4. You played with a baby? Who ARE you? Hee.

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  5. babies love me.

    is that ironic? or merely coincidental?

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  6. I don't know. I met a baby the other day and I sort of liked it. Her. I sort of liked HER. The baby was a her, not an it. Geez.

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  7. babies aren't so bad so long as they're not crying or pooping or vomiting. also if i can give them back after, like, i get bored with them.

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  8. Regarding paragraphs 1 and 2, it would be courteous to ask before writing about me.

    Babies are weird.

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  9. i'll remember that for the future.

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